Perception is Reality.

Perception is Reality.

That seems to be the lesson this week.

Perception is Reality.

That phrase has always intrigued me... it's so simple... and so powerful.

Yesterday, while at work, two sisters were sitting next to each other. One made a comment about being afraid of the flat iron because her sister had previously burned her. Her sister adamantly denied it... and basically told her she was nuts.

I laughed about it, but really- each of them had perceived very different things from the same scenario. And each of them now has their own reality, or version, of the truth.

Perception is Reality.

(Let me make this disclaimer for the MANY psychology majors I seem to have in my life... I know I am not capable of 'diagnosing' said person because I am not qualified. However, this person is part of my life, and I try to understand them, to make my life easier. To date, I have not found resolution in dealing with said person... I just try to find ways to help me understand the behavior. And I still think bi-polar is the right answer to the question! lol)

Then I got to thinking about another person in my life. This person has a 'reality' that always amazes me. The truth bends and sways in many different ways to make themselves either- a) justify their behavior and their lack of nourishment they give their relationships, or b) they really are that selfish.

We'll call this person "Thomas" for anonymity.

Thomas likes to think of himself as a 'nourishing' individual. However.. when it comes down to it... Thomas is usually off doing things that makes Thomas happy. Thomas also likes to brag about how fabulous he is, and I think, really believes it.

However, when Thomas is questioned about this or that... questions that might make them realize that Thomas puts Thomas first... out comes the 'stories'. The 'stories' always make excuses... and the 'stories' are almost always confirmed as 'untruths' by a third party.

Perception is Reality.

I was thinking about this at 3:30 this morning when I was tossing and turning on the couch. (One husband and two little boys in my bed do not make a peaceful night sleep.)

I was thinking about a lot of things last night... because chances are very good that I will be loosing someone very important to me in the near future. It's the kind of self-dialog that comes when you know the person's quality of life is diminished.. but your heart just doesn't want to let go.

And I thought about my mechanisms to cope with the reality of the situation. I have conveniently been not visiting my loved one, because if I didn't have to look at the hospital bed, or the wheelchair- then everything was still okay. I have been calling to check on them, but sort of avoiding direct contact with them. I was creating my own reality.

That all changed last Saturday.

The woman I love, that lays in a hospital bed is sick. I'm sure the doctors are going to keep her going as long as they can. The part that scares me is that her world, and the perceptions of things going on around her.

She speaks of her own funeral, and of the people attending it. She sees a young Mexican girl with a blue zarape standing at the foot of her bed. She sees flying rats, and spiders that leave webs on her face. She talks about ordering Chinese food, and opening it to find a box of feathers.

Her perception is her reality. After spending a good amount of time with her, it's now also mine.

I hope she still has a chance at recovery- but from what I'm not sure. I hope she gets a miracle and turns the hands of time spinning backwards. I hope whatever she sees is peaceful, and her new reality is a calm, safe place.

I hope I can learn this lesson. It's hard to see someone elses' point of view, when your sure of your own. I guess it's how we function, and justify our decisions. It's how we ignore our mistakes instead of learning from them. It's how we sleep at night... or stay awake thinking about all the ways the truth bends and sway throughout our life.

I hope my perception of people, and their behavior, can help me understand my own. And that the reality of the choices we make, help me make the best decisions possible as a mother, wife and human being.

I hope to learn these lessons sooner than later.