Perception is Reality.

Perception is Reality.

That seems to be the lesson this week.

Perception is Reality.

That phrase has always intrigued me... it's so simple... and so powerful.

Yesterday, while at work, two sisters were sitting next to each other. One made a comment about being afraid of the flat iron because her sister had previously burned her. Her sister adamantly denied it... and basically told her she was nuts.

I laughed about it, but really- each of them had perceived very different things from the same scenario. And each of them now has their own reality, or version, of the truth.

Perception is Reality.

(Let me make this disclaimer for the MANY psychology majors I seem to have in my life... I know I am not capable of 'diagnosing' said person because I am not qualified. However, this person is part of my life, and I try to understand them, to make my life easier. To date, I have not found resolution in dealing with said person... I just try to find ways to help me understand the behavior. And I still think bi-polar is the right answer to the question! lol)

Then I got to thinking about another person in my life. This person has a 'reality' that always amazes me. The truth bends and sways in many different ways to make themselves either- a) justify their behavior and their lack of nourishment they give their relationships, or b) they really are that selfish.

We'll call this person "Thomas" for anonymity.

Thomas likes to think of himself as a 'nourishing' individual. However.. when it comes down to it... Thomas is usually off doing things that makes Thomas happy. Thomas also likes to brag about how fabulous he is, and I think, really believes it.

However, when Thomas is questioned about this or that... questions that might make them realize that Thomas puts Thomas first... out comes the 'stories'. The 'stories' always make excuses... and the 'stories' are almost always confirmed as 'untruths' by a third party.

Perception is Reality.

I was thinking about this at 3:30 this morning when I was tossing and turning on the couch. (One husband and two little boys in my bed do not make a peaceful night sleep.)

I was thinking about a lot of things last night... because chances are very good that I will be loosing someone very important to me in the near future. It's the kind of self-dialog that comes when you know the person's quality of life is diminished.. but your heart just doesn't want to let go.

And I thought about my mechanisms to cope with the reality of the situation. I have conveniently been not visiting my loved one, because if I didn't have to look at the hospital bed, or the wheelchair- then everything was still okay. I have been calling to check on them, but sort of avoiding direct contact with them. I was creating my own reality.

That all changed last Saturday.

The woman I love, that lays in a hospital bed is sick. I'm sure the doctors are going to keep her going as long as they can. The part that scares me is that her world, and the perceptions of things going on around her.

She speaks of her own funeral, and of the people attending it. She sees a young Mexican girl with a blue zarape standing at the foot of her bed. She sees flying rats, and spiders that leave webs on her face. She talks about ordering Chinese food, and opening it to find a box of feathers.

Her perception is her reality. After spending a good amount of time with her, it's now also mine.

I hope she still has a chance at recovery- but from what I'm not sure. I hope she gets a miracle and turns the hands of time spinning backwards. I hope whatever she sees is peaceful, and her new reality is a calm, safe place.

I hope I can learn this lesson. It's hard to see someone elses' point of view, when your sure of your own. I guess it's how we function, and justify our decisions. It's how we ignore our mistakes instead of learning from them. It's how we sleep at night... or stay awake thinking about all the ways the truth bends and sway throughout our life.

I hope my perception of people, and their behavior, can help me understand my own. And that the reality of the choices we make, help me make the best decisions possible as a mother, wife and human being.

I hope to learn these lessons sooner than later.

Besides starting out with my computer crashing, and taking the my iPod with it... it ended up being a great day.

The plan was that after lunch, we would go to the park and hang out until it was time to attend Zach's final parent/teacher conference. The weather didn't seem to care that during the end of May, we should be in shorts... not sweatshirts. We suffered through, and had fun despite the windy, cold day.
As usual, my little fellows were all too happy to play at the park, no matter the weather. They were even happier when Daddy showed up to play with them... and I left to meet with his teacher. Oh my, that looks like he's working for his next modeling job!

He was so tickled that he climbed up the rock wall. I told him I missed the 'happy' picture... so he gave me that cheesy smile!

It didn't take him long to outsmart his mom... when I asked him to show the camera the handsome boy on the playground- this is what I got...

I think I had a rock album one time with that cover on it! Forget I asked for cute Kyle!

His brother did manage to get him to sit down and smile. I think Zach knew I was going to talk to his teacher, so he was more than a little willing to smile for the camera today. He was even willing to eat the carrots I packed! He must have thought he was going to be in t-r-o-u-b-l-e!

However, his teacher had nothing but good things to say. He is the youngest in the class, but keeping up just fine. She said he only has to count to 30, but she finally stopped him at 100. He not only knew all the days of the week... but informed her that Sunday is Family day. He insists she reads the 'title page' when she reads stories. He also sounds out words, and writes sentences, but he insists on stapling the pages, illustrating them, and calling them his 'books'.

His teacher also presented me with a book full of his work though the entire year. She's been taking pictures of him, and had them printed and attached to the pages. I sat in the van just about in tears as I flipped through the pages.

Is his first year of kindergarten really over? We have three weeks until the year is technically over, but it's all downhill from here. I should start preparing myself for first grade, because I can only imagine how fast next year is going to go by.

And as luck would have it, I think I fixed my iPod, and even the computer! I suppose tomorrow I might just sit by the fire and enjoy a job well done... :)

The Stars aligned just right...

Did you feel the energy in the air on Thursday? It was the stars aligning for one very tired Mom to be able to play 'hookie' for one well deserved afternoon.

Let me back up...

Zach has a BFF in kindergarten... and they boys have been begging to have a play date. And since I'm an over protective Mom I just couldn't wrap my pea-brain around letting my little guy go to some one's house that has not been thoroughly inspected, and Jo Baer approved. I finally bent a little, and after she answered my gun safety (and several other topics) questions, the boys were ready for their play date.

She was going to pick them up from school, and have him until around 4ish. So I figured I would hang out with Kyle all day... and I thought... uh-ohh... he's going to need someone to play train with, and I'll get nothing done all day.

But, if I took him to daycare, he would have fun playing with his friends... and I could... GULP... sneak out for a morning of visiting the antique shops! Ooooohhhh Baayyy-beee! ( And his daycare was FAB for letting me bring him on a day that isn't 'scheduled'!)

So I dropped off the fruit of my loins, and headed to Oroville. I parked right in front of an incredible coffee store. She makes blackberry scones from scratch... and the best dark chocolate mocha you'll ever let touch your lips. It was a gorgeous spring morning... and I was going to enjoy it to the fullest!

My first find was this pan... it's that enamel coated cast iron... like the stuff we use camping. I thought it would make a great dish to put on the outside table, filled with some beach sand and a few candles.

I recently took two antique doors, attached them together, and made them into my new headboard. So when I seen this old window I just HAD to have it! (I believe the translation is "The Flowers of Paris")

I could hardly believe when I turned around... there was this old school desk... for $30 bucks! It's even painted a color that will match the boys room. The detail scroll work is cast iron... and weighs a ton. So yummy!

And as my afternoon was winding down, I took a second trip around this store. I looked on the floor and took a double take... Cool box... let's see what's in it! I opened it to find one fully intact brand new HO scale train! I quickly call John to double check... Yes... the track he brought home from his childhood home in PA was an HO train.

The same size track that they didn't have enough of to make a complete loop. There was more than enough brand new track, a complete train still in the original container... and several pieces of track and accessories with the WOOLWORTH's sticker still on it!

And Mama got it ALL for $25 DoLLarS!

Of course, I couldn't find the two 'old' side tables I need for my bedroom. I shopped every store and thrift shop in a 30 mile radius. I was pooped! I came home, got a shower and took a tiny catnap. Hubby called to say he was off work, and on his way to get boys. I finished painting my nails... and told them I had a surprise for them

He's yelling... YEAAAAHHHH!

And this one just couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

I guess the stars aligned for all of us... all for under $100 bucks! Even though Zach got to eat ice cream before dinner AND play video games for two hours... I suppose it didn't kill either of us. (However... I'm not really that happy about it either... )

It's amazing how a little espresso, fresh air and shopping therapy can make a girl feel good again.

Speghetti Slayer.

This week has been nuts. It's been crazy, hectic, and busy. And that was just the part I recall.
I managed to grab my camera once during dinner. I captured the Speghetti Slayer, in the middle of his conquest to devour his bowl of noodle goodness! I would like to blog that life has been easy peezy lemon squeezy... and that I've just been sitting on my kitchen floor taking pictures of my cutie eating noodles. Ha! I was sitting on the floor taking a five minute break to eat a quick dinner.

My parents got home Tuesday night... and they knew we had BIG plans this week. When I got home from work on Wednesday, my dad had mowed all around the 'tight spots' on the property.

Thursday, after dropping Zach off at school... we started painting the outside of my parent's house. Even lil' ol' Kyle was scrubbing the shutters! After 12 hours in the sun, we wrapped it up... and couldn't believe how nice the house looked!

I went to work on Friday, and was so sunburned that I thought my shoulders were on fire. ((Grumble)) I KNOW, I KNOW... the whitest girl in the world without her sunscreen. Please deposit all smart arse comments here ((blackhole)).

So, a couple of weeks ago... I sent a text message out to our family and friends. I asked for their help to clean up the property... we have some people coming out to do an appraisal... so it's better for our property value to be all neat and tidy.

Trust me, we had a lot to clean up. First off, we've been 'under construction' for the last three years. All of the stuff gets thrown outside... and since we have 10 acres... well- you can see how quick it gets out of hand. Secondly, we have to keep a fire-break around our house for the fire season.

As usual, the normal group of characters showed up. The rental place delivered the tractor, and once I got home from work, almost 1/3 of the property was mowed! And the guy on the tractor was my brother... having only TWO hours of sleep. My sister in law was entertaining the boys... and my dad and John were busy bees.

It was almost 90 degrees, and we were sweating in places that shouldn't be wet! ((ewwww!))

After 8+ hours of working our tails off... we called it a night. The property looked great... and we were pooped!!

HOWEVER... we still had Sunday to get through. We finished up mowing, then my dad and John started assembling the IKEA furniture. (I wonder if the divorce rate and Ikea locations have anything in common... someone should look in to that!) lol...

Then, just to make sure there wasn't a ounce of energy left... John took Monday off to finish working on the property. I assembled the drawers in our new wardrobe cabinets... we also turned two old antique doors into my new headboard... and let me tell you- they are deee-licccc-iouuuusssss! Oh yeah, I also still had to do the normal chores, too! (Yeah, I still had three boys in need of clean socks and food on the table!)

We are no longer sleeping on the dining room floor. That's helpful to an old tired woman not to have to crawl off the floor to get up in the morning!

So there you have it. That was the crazy, busy week... and all I have to show for it is one really cute little blonde boy sucking on noodles. I could have taken pictures of all these things we did... but that would mean I would have to walk outside and take them.

And that just isn't happening right now. ;P

Yesterday, I spent the day helping my dad paint the outside of their house. We completed 3 of the 4 sides... and it turned out so nice. Kyle helped me clean shutters as soon as we got home from dropping off big brother at kindergarten.

We were outside for almost 12 hours... the house is a nice khaki tan... the shutters and trim are a soothing green... and I am LOBSTER RED. I tried to stay in the shadows, I really did. I didn't even feel pink until dinner time... and by then it was just too late.

I know the value of sunscreen... and I always get the kids covered. Somehow my little Indian only ended up with a 'bit of color' which is more BROWN than RED. Hmmm....

Needless to say, I was worn out. I was exhausted... and I still had over 20 fruit-kabobs to cut and assemble for Zach's kindergarten snack. So I tried my very best to make out night time ritual short and to the point.

Kyle rolled over, with his back to me... and was snoring in seconds. However, I powered through our night time story book. The boys picked one about Jesus and being in His loving arms.

Zach decides apparently that he is going to study Theology on the night his Mom is about to fall over dead.

"Umm Mom, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Jesus... so he takes care of everyone in Heaven, right?"

"Yes babe..."

"And Jesus is taking care of my puppy, Max?"

"Of course honey. He also is keeping an eye on all of us."

"You mean the Baer Family?"

"Uh huh... He watches over all of us here on Earth. He takes care of Heaven... and ummmm..." (I'm exhausted and where was I going with this?)

"Mom, does Jesus watch over the people in Texas, too?"

"Uhhh... I am sure He does. I mean, I think. Ummm, I don't know for sure, but what I do know, I would say the answer is yes. I guess. Okay, I think it's time for bed." (And now I am thinking about my two trips to Texas... and I must admit... that's a mighty good question!)

So as I laid my head on the pillow... I think to myself... first off- what does he know about Texas? Secondly... where does he get these questions? Did I give him the answer he was looking for?

Holy Smokes... this is like being on Jeopardy!

Gotta go... I've got some studying to do!

I had a Happy Mama Day!

Life is good... and my family makes it perfect. On Sunday, also known as the Hallmark Holiday of the Year... we took some time out of our busy schedule and explored some new places.

We were going to meet up with my dear friend Dawn, and her family- but after her daughters' prom last night... they were just exhausted. It was also forecasted to rain, but we grabbed our rain coats and headed north... with directions and the GPS. (The gps didn't help because it didn't even show us driving on a road!)

We were headed up to Table Mountain to go on a neat hike. We searched high and low for the path, but couldn't find it. Instead we found a fish hatchery... and although it wasn't open- we had fun exploring.In September there are fish 'ladders' that the salmon climb... and they have windows under the waters' surface that you can see them through. Nothing was in the windows, but all of the 'waterfalls' were enough to be excited over. Then we noticed a nature hike... and headed up the path. It was beautifully landscaped with native plants... including poison oak. (Hmmm... lets keep our fingers crossed we didn't touch that!) The great thing was when we got to the top of the hill... we were next to a train track... and as luck would have it- a train came by! Then, Zach spotted a loose spike- so he was a happy hiker!

We were having such a good time checking things out, we grabbed some sandwiches, and headed up again to try and find the trail. This time we noticed about 15 cars parked in a little parking area... it was empty our first drive by... and that's why we didn't notice it!

So we grabbed the wagon... and headed out in some of the most gorgeous land I've ever seen. Some of it was a big meadow, with a small creek that ran though it. There were still tons of wildflowers... and the sound of trickling water was magical.

We had to cross back and forth over the creek a couple of times... which didn't pose a problem for Batman...or Robin...
This is why we kept zig zagging off the path. I kept finding the most incredible places to take pictures. I was kicking myself for not having the tripod... and I was thinking how I was going to drag my friend out there next time. Sleep deprived and all... lol.

The boys had fun throwing rocks... which is part of their DNA makeup...And who could blame them.... there was only a million rocks to throw...We found paths that wound around to another section of waterfalls...And somehow we avoided anyone "falling" into the water!It also gave me an opportunity to take some neat pictures of things around us. This flower was planted high atop a nasty looking thistle plant. But it was just gorgeous...and I loved the way the algae was dancing around in the water...And all three of the boys loved all the 'Rocky Mountains' they kept finding. The trouble is the wagon is getting so old, I was afraid one of them would pop through the rusted bottom. When the terrain got a little too steep I made them get out and hoof it!And each time they complained about having to take ANOTHER picture... I just reminded them it was MOMMY day... and what she wanted more than anything was pictures of her little Baers. (Worked like a charm... today.)As usual... some of my favorites weren't posed shots... After a long hike, it was starting to get a little too cloudy and cool. It had been perfect weather up to that point, so we didn't want to push our luck. Zach was so tired he decided to 'surf' in the wagon... and Kyle walked...But after a little while, Kyle was worn out. Zach refused to move to make room... so as usual Kyle took matters into his own hands....
and rode his brother like a horse. Zach must have had enough jackets under him for cushion, he didn't seem to mind... or maybe Kyle finally weighs enough it didn't matter.
I guess 'riding your brother' is one more victory for the little guy. Whatever the reason, he was happy about something... lol.


And I know this is the longest blog post EVER... but I have one more story I don't want to forget about.

While we were driving home, I was complimenting the boys on their 'good listening' today. I told them while on a hike, it's important to listen... just in case we had seen something dangerous.

Zach asked what could have been dangerous...

I said- "I don't know... maybe a bee, or a snake. Or even if you were getting to close to the edge of the water... either way it was important for safety... and they did a great job today!"

Zach replied... "Mom... you know what was really dangerous? If a Bear was out there..."

Daddy said the only dangerous bear out there was Zachary Baer.

Zach said... "Dad- I'm not a dangerous bear... I'm the cutest bear ever!"


It was such a fabulous day... and it didn't cost a dime. I know some of my friends had all sorts of gifts, and I wouldn't have minded getting them either. However, my second most favorite thing in the world is taking lots of pictures of my most favorite little people in the world.

And that makes for a Happy Mama's Day!

Happy Mom's Day!

I want to wish you all a very happy Mom's day! I already got the biggest gift on Friday night. John called me at work to tell me they were heading back to the daycare (20 minutes away) so Zach could get his "Mommy Day Gift" that was left there by accident.
Apparently he was in tears that it had been forgotten, and was devastated at the idea he would have to wait until Monday to get it. John was in the middle of cooking dinner, but the daycare was about to close for the night.
So he wrangled up the boys, and off they went.

My heart melts that Zach was so upset. My heart overflows at the thought they would load up the truck and go out of their way for my 'gift'. I am one lucky mom.

I got home late Friday night, and Zach was bursting at the seams to "show me the bag... only". It was a decorated small paper bag. I told him it was gorgeous... that he did a great job coloring it.

Then he wanted to "read you my letter"... I reminded him these were supposed to wait until Sunday. He said, "that's okay, you can read them Sunday, too."

It read:
My mom gime hugs.
I love mom.
Mom gets me food.
My mom is prite.
Mom love me.
Zach

He is learning to sound words out, so the flip side is his teacher has them write things without worrying about spelling. If you read it phonetically, it makes perfect sense. (And it melted my heart!)

His teacher laminated the letter, and included a couple of pictures. I'm going to read them again on Sunday... and be just as xcytd.

Hope you enjoy your day, and remind your Mom how pritee she is. :)

That face makes me so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to be a Mom. It makes me happy that he got his Daddy's ears, and his Mama's blue eyes. This picture makes me happy that he sat still for his haircut... because they never do!
I sometimes think of my blog as a chore... one more thing that needs to be done. It feels like the laundry, dishes and the bills... only with pictures. However, at this weekend's birthday party, an old friend said "You always know what's going on in her house. You know she's having a good time reading to her boys... or what art project they are working on."

I smiled from ear to ear.

I love that, because I love that other people are enjoying the little moments of my life. People who love my children, are enjoying watching them grow up. For me, it's not about the milestones (well, okay- it is- sort of) but it's mostly about the little moments that fly by. It's not about the dressed up studio pictures...

it's about the day we spent at the park... and the Popsicle we enjoyed on the front step.And the fact that Mom is willing to do anything to get a good shot. Even balance something on her head... and my little monkeys have to do the same thing.

I'm glad we weren't eating ice cream cones that day.

And so with each post on this blog, I am going to remind myself that I am the luckiest mom alive. And the joy I am blessed with each and every day, is just going to overflow onto my blog. I am not going to worry about boring people to death... or bragging on my guy's every day. I am going to remind myself that the blog is my journal, and I just happen to be able to share it with a ton of people that love my boys.

So I apologize if I seem to have a need to document each day... as if I think I have the only children that are cute while eating Popsicles! But these boys are going to be little just once... and I plan on enjoying every day of it. (And sharing it with the coast to coast fan club!)

Birthday Girl...

This is Kelsey... she is my second cousin... and quite a cutie patootie. She is also the birthday girl! Do you remember that newborn I took all those pictures of? This is her one year later!

We joined her birthday celebration at the park this weekend, and it was a gorgeous day.

Unlike my two boys, this girl knows how to eat cake. She dug right in, and make sure it went directly into her cute little mouth. She had very good aim, and would have eaten the entire cake if we would have let her!

Happy First Birthday Kelsey!