Happy Cows DO NOT come from California!

We spent last week drywalling and painting. My house was in a construction sort of mess... dining table in the kitchen, living room furniture in the dining room... drywall dust all over EVERYTHING! There were paint cans, brushes, and masking tape to clean.

So Monday morning, I drank my coffee... and channeled my best Cinderella. I was on my hands and knees cleaning the paint splatters off the floor. I wiped all the over sprayed texture off cabinets... and I pulled up all the masking tape off of windows, cabinets and floors.

I was feeling quite pleased with all that I accomplished when I looked up and seen...

















TWO (2) Grazing COWS.

Yeah, that might not be that big of a deal, you say, for someone who lives in the country. But here's the fact: I don't own TWO (2) Grazing Cows!

I watched them for a minute or two, and realized they were chewing on everything. They had their head in our recycle cans, they were trying to chew on the hose, they were nibbling on some of our construction stuff. AND I kept thinking about the 'patties' they were going to leave behind.

I thought to myself, "Hey, I killed a mouse this year... what could it hurt to 'shoo' off two cows?"
So I grabbed a broomstick, and went outside. The dogs were going nuts, so I let them out. I walked up to them, one of which is eating a dog food bag, and said in my loudest cowgirl-esque voice- GO HOME!

This is the look I got...


















Of course, I've watched enough TV to know these are not the smartest creatures.. but don't they know what "go home" means? I get up close to one, and at that time my lab decides to try her best attempt at herding. Sadly for me and my ego, the cow has no where to run, except TOWARDS me- and he does.

So me and my broom stick take off running, and I think to myself, "Since when do gentle cows charge, and why does it have horns anyways?" Apparently those commercials with the social, friendly cows don't know what the heck they are talking about... Happy Cows DO NOT come from California!

Hmmm. Now I am irritated... so I start yelling and hitting the ground with the broomstick. They also were slightly irritated, and started moving towards the back of the property. I was certain that they were from a neighbor in the back, and when I got them there, I would patch the fence with grass that I would pluck from the plain.

Out of no where... my American Bulldog, Bella- channels her best herding gene. She ran behind those cows, nipping and barking- like she'd lived on a ranch her whole life.

Well, this Cowgirl thing wasn't as hard as it looked!

So we get to the back of the property... and there is no hole in any of the fences. Bella is exhausted, and we've all had our fun... so we head home. I'm certain we've convinced those cows that our home is not theirs... and they'll stay back there until their owners come for them.


I'm so proud of my girl... and we head back towards the house.

And I call my hubby, and sis in law to share my wacky afternoon. When I look up and discover- THEY ARE BACK!

So, once again... I let the dogs back out, grab my broom stick and start the whole process over. This time I am going to find that hole in the fence- or make one and shove them back in it.

This time, with my best herding dog at my side... I start saying "Yawwww"... and was picking out my new boots in my head.

However, the bull turned towards us, and wouldn't back down. Thankfully, neither would Bella. (Now I'm thinking about how much a vet bill is going to cost if she gets kicked in the head.)

I mean.. REALLY? How do I get into this stuff?

So we chase them to the back property again, and I still can't find where they came from. I called animal control and she just laughed. I called my sister in law, and she 'googled' it for me. I called my hubby... and he was on his way home. Thankfully.

He ended up finding the owners, two parcels away. They had just discovered their cows were missing. Lucky for them they didn't waste a whole afternoon on the darn things. Even luckier for those cows I don't know a thing about slaughtering an animal.

However, I think this Cinderella might ask for an electric cow prouder for Christmas.